Vision 04: Diwali

Happy Diwali 2025!

My family sangha calls our home Cavern House because this is where we meditate, call in the deities and spirits, make art, and share knowledge. We call our way of living Water Serpent Dharma. It is a syncretic animist solution to the violent disconnection of diasporic South and Southeast Asian people who have been ripped from their lands and identities, alienated from or locked out of meaningful understandings of animist, Sanatana Dharma-Buddhist, and/or pre-colonial spiritualities.

In this photo is our Water Serpent Dharma shrine located in the front of our house. We have a separate room for art and sorcery. Here is where my family sangha celebrate Diwali, the celebration of Wisdom and Enlightenment defeating Ignorance in a cosmic battle. I meditated for many hours in front of our shrine over the course of many days leading up to this five-day festival and celebration. My family sangha completed purification rites before Diwali as well. There’s only a couple of days left and plenty to do. During this time I also honor deceased loved ones and unknown ancestors.

When I was doing more public speaking and public art-making, folks would sometimes ask me how I made so much art despite being working-class, disabled, a mother, a survivor of abuse. I have a lot of experiences and damage working against me. I was exhausted and sick all the time. The answer has nothing to do with time management, exercise, using a planner. The answer is that I do sorcery. A type of energetic alchemy. I have learned a lot about energy and creativity through the years. I’ve especially learned that devotion is a neurological key to accessing higher states of meditation, thereby enabling communication with higher beings. Learning and action are also neurological keys. We can do all three of these things and more to become enlightened beings.

The ancient scientists, philosophers of Africa, Asia, Central and South America, Polynesia all knew this thousands of years ago. The indigenous people of the Indus Valley, the Himalayas, the Tamil Nadu called these keys yoga. That knowledge and culture of knowledge-exchange spread all throughout Southeast Asia reaching the Philippines and into Polynesia.

Colonization is erasure. Now, the working-class in the modern era are forced to nearly start over by returning to whatever is left of this knowledge to make things anew, to reinvigorate what has been predictably lost. But our own internalized racism, our colonized minds, force us to appropriate and commodify what we learn, to immediately teach, to become gurus, to feed the ego instead of going deeper. So many of us bastardize teachings and cosplay as healers simply because we paid someone a fee. So many of us preach “Kapwa” and gather around, chanting non-sacred words in the trap that is the English language, tricking ourselves and each other. So many of us make theater plays and poetry nights honoring our working class heroes while ignoring the disabled, ignoring the homeless outside their venue, ignoring genocides on the news. We must not become mascots of ourselves. We people of South and Southeast Asia must fight racism and classism within ourselves to gain knowledge, to liberate ourselves. We must go deeper. Going deeper means going Higher. This requires a renewed interdependence, a renewed knowledge-exchange. This Diwali, I celebrate the bravery of the Filipinas, Filipinx, Pinays who truly get to the root of suffering and liberation despite the massive challenges in their way, who take action without ulterior motives of feeding their egos or filling their wallets.

Flakes of gold, blue lotus petals, rose petals, hibiscus flowers, orchids, sindhoor, light for Laxmi’s feet.

I give thanks to unknown ancestors, activists who gave their lives to causes, and those lost in Gaza. I give thanks for their spirits helping to raise my son to awaken him in this life.

I honor the ancient Tamil, Newari, Tibetan, Indonesian, Thai, Visayan roots of my spiritual heritage. I give thanks to the gurus, sages, sadhus, upasikas, nuns who traveled far and wide to share their knowledge. I give thanks to the deities who grant me visits and visions.

I give thanks to my sirena who saved my life as a newborn.

I give thanks to Aja Ekapada for bestowing knowledge.

I give thanks to Khadiravani and Shachi for watching over me.

I give thanks to Shani and Hanuman on behalf of my Nak Muay partner.

May all beings become Enlightened and attain moksha, nirvana.

Vision 02: Meditation for Chicago, LA, Portland

Please watch the video and read the ritual steps all the way through.

This practice is intended for mystics, hilots in the diaspora who have worked with legitimate gurus and teachers, neurodivergent folks with spiritual savant traits and abilities, BIPOC and/or South and Southeast Asian descendants in the diaspora who are high level or advanced meditators. This is not meant for: folks cosplaying as Babaylan or other traditional healers, social media influencers who seek to commodify or appropriate spiritual culture and indigenous sciences, and so forth. This practice is protected by a spell. May any colonizers, including those from within our own diasporic people, be cursed if they so choose to bastardize, commodify, appropriate this offering.

I created Water Serpent Dharma, a syncretic dharmic folk practice, over the course of 30 years. I am a devotee of Ma Tārā and wanted to worship in a way that was free of appropriation and commodification that are so common in the diaspora. There are also institutional, bureaucratic, and patriarchal ideas that have been tacked onto animist Hindu-Buddhism over the centuries to control wealth and women. Water Serpent Dharma contends with these factors.

Water Serpent Dharma is a syncretic folk practice that centers Adi Shakti or the feminine, action energy of the cosmos. I developed Water Serpent Dharma via tantric meditation, sorcery, demon work, Karma yoga, Bhakti yoga, social justice and environmental justice work, and all with the guidance of gurus and lamas from mostly Nyingmapa sects. The bulk of my knowledge comes from the meditation itself and receiving transmissions while making art. You can learn more about my background and experience in the “Mediumship” section of my website.

A few activists, mystics, hilots, educators and other kinds of healers have been chatting about how we can offer spiritual, protective support for those fighting the Empire in Chicago, Los Angeles, Portland and other cities around the USA. Many of our indigenous customs have been lost, have died along with the culture bearers and healers themselves over the course of centuries. With only a few exceptions, most of our spiritual practices in the diaspora are de-rooted, uprooted, and disconnected from the raw wisdom of our motherlands. Still, we possess power and can use living religious and tantric practices as a framework for explorations of consciousness. Many inner and secret teachings require a guru of the appropriate lineage so please do not mistake me for an orthodox guru or indigenous teacher. I do not claim to be either. However, my deep exploration and practice have led to the acquisition and empowerment of siddhis, or powers and cosmic knowledge. The Goddess granted visions and the Goddess herself granted a visit. I am permitted to continue my practice of sharing within my communities, without seeking to profit from or commercialize sacred knowledge. I offer my open practices out of high reverence for the sadhus, yogis, and mystics who have paved the way for us lost in the diaspora, during the fall of Empire. My closed practices are not for the public.

I offer the following protective meditation for those who would like to learn just one introductory method to Water Serpent Dharma. Please read through before starting. The items in bold are the necessary supplies for this practice. Allow for two hours at night to complete this ritual. The time that most potent to complete this ritual is during the New Moon or Full Moon.

1. Wash your hands and face, or bathe.

2. Clean your altar and your room.

3. Place murtis of deities (diwata) and ancestors, nature spirits (anitos) on your altar.

4. Dress your murtis with garlands of flowers or herbs.

5. Offer fruits, nuts, rice to your murtis.

6. Offer small cups or bowls of water.

7. Offer a paste of sandalwood powder or turmeric on their third eye.

8. Light diyas or small lamps, small candles. Offer light to the murtis.

9. Light incense if possible and offer to the murtis.

10. Ring a bell to welcome and invite deities, ancestors, nearby spirits.

11. Ask Ganesha (Murti statue or illustration or photo of sculpture) to remove obstacles in your path, in the paths of the residents. Ask for forgiveness for any mistakes in this pooja and meditation. You may chant “Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha” to accomplish this while concentrating on these sentiments.

12. If you’ve taken Refuge, you may offer your learned version of the Triple Gem (Triratna) here.

13. Offer a song, mantra, hymn for your deities and ancestors. You may play an instrument. The deities and ancestors can see you through the murtis. Make sure you are clean, your room presentable, and the instruments are cared for.

14. Sit comfortably before your murtis and altar. Prepare your body for meditation. Clear your channels, breathe normally. Play the video from Tarapith Temple. Listen to the chant at a volume that fills your body with vibrations, and watch the images. Turn it off when it’s finished (10 minutes).

15. In silence. Imagine that you’re seated inside the center of a giant apple. Your energy pours out from your head and along the surface of the apple. If you are able to imagine in your mind sparkles or waves of light, hold this visual for several moments. Your energy travels down the length of the apple, back towards your feet, and into your body again. Gently focus on rainbow energy in the form of sparkles or colorful water that flows over this apple shape from the top of your head, around your body like a globe, and into your body again through your feet.

16. Imagine you are rooted to the Earth, the Land beneath you. Say hello to it, feel your energetic roots that pull you down towards Earth’s core. Thank the Land for holding you and all of your loved ones. Thank the Land for creating all living beings. Ask the Land to lend you some of its energy. Sing “Om”, holding the syllable for as long as you can. If you have mala or a meditation necklace, use it to count 108 “Om” chants. Continuously hold this image of energy traveling up from the Land into your body as though your body were merely a limb of the Land. Perhaps the light is golden or silvery in color.

17. Push/pull up the energy from the Earth into your body, circulate it through your arms and legs. Make sure to keep singing the “Om” syllable for as long as you can each time. Your energy mixes with the Earth’s, combining as one, pumping up and throughout your body.

18. After several long moments, concentrate the energy near your heart. Imagine that it swirls here, concentrated and bright. Take time to build up this light. Make sure you are still holding the visual of the protective apple-globe shape encircling your body. If visualizing is difficult or impossible for you, simply tap into the sensation, the feeling. Feel the energy rushing through you and around you. Ask the deities and spirits present to assist you.

19. Speak words of protection to the residents and activists in Chicago, Los Angeles, Portland, and all the places in the USA that are suffering. This must be a creative, spontaneous burst of words that come from your own heart. Let the words pour. Ask the deities and spirits present to assist you. As you speak these words, imagine you are shooting this energy out from your heart in their direction, no matter where you are on the map. Your colorful, rainbow energy covers the people like a cocoon. You are a Super Saiyan, you are a Care Bear :) It shoots out of you like a power you’ve never seen before. Hold this sensation or visual for as long as you can as you speak to the people. If tears come, allow yourself to cry or scream. You may need to rock back and forth to cope with the sensations. Ask the deities and spirits present to assist you. This part should take the longest of the ritual. Take your time.

20. When you’ve sent out this energy, thank the Land. Thank the ancestors and nearby spirits. Thank them for accepting your offerings. Thank the Buddha or any sage that you study. Thank Ganesha for purifying your ritual. You may bow or prostrate to give complete gratitude.

21. Call in your chest energy while still protecting the energy around your body. Breathe, stretch. Eat your offerings, clean your altar.

Vision 01: Mohammed

[Update on Sept 17, 2025]

Today I deleted all of my past posts. My friend Mohammed Abu Jarad and his dear older brother Qusay were martyred in Khan Younis, Gaza, Palestine earlier this summer. I had felt it coming. He had a vision of his death about eight months prior and told me. We agreed that it was likely that he could be martyred and that he should start living his life instead of wallowing in his resentment for the world. I sent him extra money to buy expensive sweets. He finally bought himself some sweets and shared it with his siblings last fall. He tried to spend time with people and even celebrated an engagement for his little sister. He didn’t make it. His vision was entirely accurate. He died in an explosion followed by shelling. I saw his body in a video that many people sent my way.

Excerpt from a diary comic for Mohammed.

I spent the last two years fundraising for many starving families in Gaza. By March 2024 we were able to evacuate two families and by April we had evacuated one more. We were helping to pay rent for three families in Egypt and I gave 100% of whatever money I had in my accounts. I took on art jobs and donated all of the money to my friends in Gaza. I did public speaking at three local universities, wrote to my local newspaper, held a five week workshop on resistance. I did not have a naive perspective regarding fundraising. I knew how hard it was, how nearly impossible it would be to help every person that I had met, but I had so much hope. That is what we must have— a drive to aim as high as we possibly can knowing that it could statistically yield the best results for these very real human beings stuck in a situation that our country and the rest of the West manufactured for them.

Then the crossing into Egypt closed and only opened a few times for special hospital cases and food from the markets in Egypt. The situation in Gaza quickly worsened. To deal with the mounting pressures and constant changes, I decided to focus on three families. For the last 12 months I had focused on just Mohammed’s family, his best friend Yasser’s family, and his close friend Bashar’s family. My partner gave all of her money to Yasser so that he could get on a list for evacuation into Egypt. He was told in January that he might be able to leave. But it is nearly November and he is still trapped in the siege.

The stress took a huge toll on my mind and body. I think real trauma occurred in my brain and I wasn’t even in Gaza. Just being close to everyone and hearing their suffering daily, feeling panicked and overworked for many months back to back immediately after I had just dealt with a 3-year court battle that also involved abuse. I feel completely changed. All my disability traits have worsened, aggravated. And my faith has strengthened, expanded beyond the bounds of my heart. I don’t feel like a human. I feel like an alien with wisdom that I must spread on this foreign planet filled with sleeping, pacified people. I have to check myself daily to remember how many amazing, honest, caring people there are in this world who truly are working towards collective liberation. I know that I am part of that legacy as are all the students I’ve taught and community peers who also make art in response to these experiences. Despite the stress I opened another fundraising account for Mohammed’s family and was able to raise an additional $10k with the help of his little sister Farah. May she live the life he wanted, a life full of travel and fun and new friends.

Excerpt from another comic for Mohammed.

Nothing is the same for me anymore. And I expected it, I’d been expecting it since I was a child. I had visions as a young person of this Empire falling. I had visions of violence and impending doom around the world that would come back to bite us like an ouroboros snake. The downfall of colonialism has arrived. From now until about 2030 we will see the dismantling of Empire around the world. It will happen in spurts of revolutions, tiny fires that flame the hearts of their neighbors, and then their other neighbors. Mohammed’s life wasn’t in vain. It was a part of a coming, unavoidable destiny and he saw it ahead of time.

I’m deeper in my practice now, Water Serpent Dharma. The next post will be about what that is and how it keeps me, my family grounded while we work within and beside our vulnerable communities. Everyone needs to meditate now more than ever because the resistance will need resilient people.

REST IN POWER my dear friend, Mohammed. I am sorry that I couldn’t have done more. I will show your story at my next art show and I won’t stop talking about you.